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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27550396">An Accidental Discovery</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMageHimiko/pseuds/MagicalMageHimiko'>MagicalMageHimiko</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Established Relationship, Hubert von Vestra does not understand emotions, Jealousy, Love Letters, M/M, Minor Misunderstandings, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Specifically Hubert, The very end is soft I swear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:07:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27550396</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMageHimiko/pseuds/MagicalMageHimiko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He froze still for a moment, wondering what on earth he should do in this situation. Does he dare push the drawer back in and act like nothing happened? Ah, but what if he broke it? It was clearly a complex mechanism, and he could end up trapping the contents inside forever.</p><p>At the thought, Ferdinand could not stop his eyes from glancing inside of the drawer (absolutely unintentional) and expected to see some of Hubert’s usual discreet documents. Reports about the secret war he was fighting and such.</p><p>Not several folded papers and envelopes, each with “Ferdinand” written in Hubert’s beautiful cursive.</p><p>Oh goddess.<br/>-------<br/>Or: Ferdinand comes across some letters that Hubert had written to him before they got together.</p><p>Accidentally, of course.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>An Accidental Discovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colonel012625/gifts">Colonel012625</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THANK YOU TO Colonel012625 FOR THIS AMAZING PROMPT!!! I hope I did it justice &lt;3 &lt;3</p><p>Hi!! My area has just gone into another lockdown, which means I have had to juggle caring for my mum and work, leaving me with barely any time for writing. Hopefully this little piece tides you over while I work on chapter 3 of Magnetized. Thank you for your patience, and enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a complete and utter accident.</p><p>He and Hubert had returned to the monastery for the first time since the end of the war in order to oversee some of the restorations taking place, and since the day was getting rather late he had decided to retire early to his Husband’s old dormitory room. (His own, since he had returned to the capital rather quickly after the war, now sadly stank of gone-off tea left for too long).</p><p>However, upon entering the room did he realise that this was the first time he had ever been inside of Hubert’s old dormitory. They usually spent their free time in the gardens during the war and he most certainly hadn’t ventured near it in their academy days.</p><p>And so, it was only natural that he would take a <em>little</em> peek. For serious reasons. Obviously.</p><p>A few minutes of looking around hadn’t supplied him with much – in fact, it was practically identical to his own old room. The main obvious differences were the lack of armour pieces littered around on the floor, and the scent of tea (gone off or not) replaced with the smoky scent of dark magic.</p><p>Plus, Hubert was hardly one for decoration. He never saw any need for fresh flowers on a windowsill, preferring all of his rooms to be basic and plain. The closest thing to personalisation was probably the occasional tome lying around, a few of them having fallen to the floor due to a collapsed shelf.</p><p>So, obviously, the correct thing to do was to pick them up for him. At least, that’s what he had thought. But as soon as he had placed the stack on top of the desk, a click had filled the room and a hidden drawer snapped open, revealing all of its contents for Ferdinand to see.</p><p>Clearly, a complete accident.</p><p>He froze still for a moment, wondering what on earth he should do in this situation. Does he dare push the drawer back in and act like nothing happened? Ah, but what if he broke it? It was clearly a complex mechanism, and he could end up trapping the contents inside forever.</p><p>At the thought, Ferdinand could not stop his eyes from glancing inside of the drawer (absolutely unintentional) and expected to see some of Hubert’s usual discreet documents. Reports about the secret war he was fighting and such.</p><p>Not several folded papers and envelopes, each with “Ferdinand” written in Hubert’s beautiful cursive.</p><p>Oh goddess.</p><p>Well, that complicated things even further. Whatever was he supposed to do now?</p><p>He weighed his options. He could indulge his curiosity about these mysterious letters and likely get murdered by Hubert later, or he could politely ignore them and wait for Hubert to return. And then see that the mechanism was broken and proceed to get murdered anyway.</p><p>...</p><p>After a pause, he couldn’t stop himself reaching down and gently picking up the topmost letter.</p><p><em> How disgraceful</em> his mind whispered to him as he carefully opened the envelope.<em> A noble should not invade others privacy!</em> It screamed as he took the letter out.</p><p>“It’s a complete accident” he told himself as he unfolded it, and his eyes met lines of his husbands penned writing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Dearest Ferdinand,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>It appears that I am once again putting my unspoken words into writing. I blame you for this irritable habit, in more ways than one. The time I have spent putting these together could have been spent listening to my spies’ reports. Time that could have been spent going over strategy plans with the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force. And yet I continue to write these things down anyway.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And why is that? It is all because you asked me to “put it in a letter next time”.  What should have been a single, simple letter stating what is true appears to have escalated into what could be a full novel by now. And it is all your fault.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>It is all your fault because there is absolutely no way of expressing my feelings for you in just ‘a’ letter. You damnable, perfect man. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Do you know just how many hours I have wasted, staring at blank pieces of parchment as I try to think of a way that captures all of my feelings in a way that does not frighten you, or scare you off? I suppose each time I write a letter such as this I am merely denying the inevitable. I am a Vestra after all, and you are an Aegir. There is no chance you could look at me equally, with joy in your eyes. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And yet I long for it anyway. A glimmer of light and hope amongst the shadows that my life is built upon. Is it really too much to ask for? For the one person I hope for to look at me, with sunshine in his eyes and fondness at the corners? I have been used to the frightened looks of passers-by for so long that I have grown immune to it. It is the only expression I have ever received, other than from Lady Edelgard. My father never bothered to express emotion while I was a child. Perhaps that is why I have always been so out of touch with other people’s feelings. Why I learned to assess people without emotion, so that I can give an accurate report.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>The first time I experienced such a strong emotion directed at me that was not fear was when I met you at the officer’s academy all those years ago.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>It would sound idiotic to someone like you, but that sheer force of anger, disgust and loathing was my first experience of a different opinion directed at me. Maybe that is why I found myself drawn to you, even back then. It’s ironic that the man who knows nothing but emotion should be the one to affect the man with none. Emotion was foreign to me, back then. But you taught me anger. And, in recent months, you have taught me to love.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ah, it appears I have written it again.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Does it sound hilarious to you? That someone like myself is capable of an emotion such as love? I have to admit, it surprised me too when I first realised it.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>To be more specific, it was Linhardt who bluntly pointed it out one day, when I had asked him what illness was ailing me in such a strange way. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I have encountered many poisons in my time as Lady Edelgard’s servant, but I believe that love is the most painful of them all. A feeling of such adoration and affection for another, but with a constant fear of rejection. Of humiliation.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>That fear of inevitable rejection is what scares me the most. I do not wish to disgust you so that you abandon me, like so many others. And yet I cannot see any other reaction to be possible for one such as myself.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And so, I shall put an end to this confession here. As always, I find myself cowardly refusing to send it. It shall likely be placed with the others when I return back to my room, an ever-growing pile.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Perhaps one day I shall be able to confess my feelings with confidence, and have the strength to accept the denial. But that day will not be today.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Yours if you should ever wish it,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hubert von Vestra</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Ferdinand held the letter gently, as if he was holding the rarest document in the land. To think that such a thing was written during the war, when they were constantly dancing around their feelings to the other. The content made his heart ache. Just how many times had he bared his feelings out in the open such as this?</p><p>The curiosity in his chest bared its fangs, still unsatisfied, and his gaze was drawn yet again to the pile of letters.</p><p><em>There is no need to look further. Hubert is already yours, and happily married to you. </em>His thoughts whispered again. <em>You should be ashamed of yourself.</em></p><p>But if the first letter revealed so much about Hubert that was still unknown to Ferdinand, then what information could the others contain?</p><p>He spared a glance at the window. It was dark, but not nearly dark enough that would signal Hubert’s return from his duties for the day. He had time.</p><p>And so, he steadied his breathing and opened the next letter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Dearest Ferdie,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Once again, I am putting my feelings into writing. I fear I have no other choice in the matter, for I have to do something with these emotions you have instilled in me.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>It began as a seed, all those years ago in the academy. A seed of anger. 5 years on, and that seed has grown into a forest of emotions. Love, affection, pain, fear. A tangle of flowers both harmless and harmful.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And it seems that a new one has just bloomed today, opening to reveal its verdant petals.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>This rather ugly flower has the name ‘Jealousy’. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Yes, that is right. An undeserving fool of a man like myself has just discovered the emotion of jealousy. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>It is petty of me, I know. To be possessive of something that is not mine. But this emotion does not hold back simply because of that truth. In fact, it makes it worse. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I have spent the last hour wishing I had never attended that meeting with you. Seeing Margrave Edmund’s financial advisor cosy up to you in such a way made me want to unleash a torrent of my finest dark magic upon the whole room. For the first time in my life, I wanted to put my emotions before my duty. It is by far the biggest fight I have ever had with myself, war or no war. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Just imagine how I must have felt, sat there across the table with the perfect view of the scene infolding in front of me. Torture is not a strong enough word. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I would have rather suffered through a thousand of my own ruthless interrogations than have to watch that man flirt with you for a single minute. When he reached out and twirled a finger through a lock of your perfect, golden hair I ended up snapping my quill. If only it had been his head instead.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>But I have no right to complain. You should feel free to flirt with whomever you wish. I must constantly remind myself that you are not mine, but the thought strikes through my heart like a dagger.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I am nothing compared to your poetic talent, and yet I still find myself attempting to describe the pure power of this new emotion I had to endure today. Jealousy is a dangerous thing, I have come to learn. A branch of the tree that is love. Another part of the adoration segment. The shadow of it, to be specific.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Thinking about shadows makes me wonder if this is one of the downsides that a true noble must endure. I wonder if you hated being in that situation as much as I did, with a perfect smile forced out because that is what is expected. It wouldn’t surprise me – you are always the people pleaser, after all. But that thought makes this new flower inside of me grow even bigger, with poisonous thorns growing out. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I think I must stop myself from writing more, lest I follow through with these urges and make enemies with a potential ally. I hate how you make me question my duty like this. I despise it. However, it seems that these emotions are not ones that I can reason with.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ever protective,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hubert von Vestra</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Ferdinand reached a gloved hand to his mouth upon finishing reading the second letter, with teardrops threatening to fall from the corner of his eyes. He had no doubt in his mind that this one was even more powerful than the first.</p><p>He found himself feeling ashamed, the memory of that negotiation meeting fresh in his head. He had been ignorant to Hubert’s feelings at that time, unaware of the torment he had been suffering through. Another private piece of information about his husband, laid bare for him to see.</p><p>His heart was well and truly split into two at this point. One part of him was begging him to stop, to let Hubert’s private thoughts remain private. But the other part of him was telling him that since they <em>were</em> addressed to him, that must have meant that at some point Hubert must have considered sending them.</p><p>He glanced at the window again. It was darker now, he didn’t have a lot of time. But…</p><p>Ferdinand watched his hand move without permission to pick out another from the pile, and his eyes began reading before he could hesitate. This had become well and truly out of control.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ferdinand,</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I don’t have very long to write this. I have spent the majority of the day changing my decision over and over again, and I’d like to get this down before I change my mind once more.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Today is the day. The final battle will be upon us in weeks and I cannot stand the thought of dying before I bare my weakness for you to judge. If I am to die, then I would prefer to do it while knowing the truth of your feelings. If you reject me, with disgust upon your face, then I shall accept it as such.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>This ring is heavy in my pocket. It burns through the fabric and into my skin as though reflecting the sheer force of the emotions that it represents. It isn’t expensive, or lavish like the countless ones I saw presented to you during our days at the academy. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>In fact, there isn’t much to be said about it, decoration wise. I have never been one to nitpick over details like that. I am most regretting it now. What if you dislike it? I know how much you value intricate carvings on your armour, what if you judge your jewellery much the same?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>No, wait. I’m hesitating again, am I not? </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Yet again, you are even now teaching me a new emotion. Nervousness. My hand is shaking as I write this, a side effect of this particular feeling. How many people have I killed now, with not a single bit of emotion to spare for them. And look at me right now, losing my composure over something that I am not likely to achieve.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>But goddess, how I wish I could.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>If only I could tell you how much I have hoped to spend my free time with you, much more than our regular tea and coffee breaks. I want to braid your perfect, luscious locks. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, your bright smile shining brighter than the sun itself. I want you. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>The way this strange emotion called love plays games with my cold heart so easily frightens me. Yes, frightens. Another emotion. You, Ferdinand, make me feel more vulnerable than any war can. But rather than say that I hate it, I think I have had a change of mind again.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I think I have come to love it, just as much as I love you as a person.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>The way you have broken through the icy wall that surrounded me, and have left me vulnerable to all of these new emotions and feelings has made me realise once more just how much I admire you.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You have had to deal with these powerful emotions every day. And you wear them so proudly, a smile on your face no matter not. Even with negative feelings, such as jealousy, rage and disgust, you manage to make them shine in your own way. And the thought of losing you so soon in a few weeks scares me more than you shall hopefully never know.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ah, it appears that it is time for our scheduled tea (and coffee) break. I suppose all that I can do now is hope for the impossible – that you, for some reason, may just love me back--------</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Ferdinand jumped at the sudden voice, dropping the letter to the floor. He turned around to see Hubert stood in the doorway, eyes wide with shock.</p><p>“Oh, um. Hubert. Welcome back.” He stammered out, his heart beating ten times faster than usual.</p><p>Hubert’s eyes darkened slightly, his voice lowering. “I said, <strong>what</strong> are you doing?” his voice dripped with barely covered anger.</p><p>Ferdinand avoided his gaze, fidgeting with his sleeve. “I…I was just-“ He tried to stammer out an explanation. “It was an accident!”</p><p>Hubert frowned further. “An accident? Are you really trying to tell me that you just <em>happened</em> to open one of my secret compartments and read my private letters by <strong>accident</strong>-“ he cut off sharply, and his expression softened slightly. “Ferdinand are you <em>crying?”</em> he asked, voice suddenly a whisper.</p><p>He looked into the mirror next to him, and sure enough, he found tear streaks rolling down his face. When they had started to fall he had no idea.</p><p>“I am not, um.” He wiped a few of them from his eyes. “I am not crying because you are angry at me”. He reached down to pick the letter back up, handling it carefully in order to not accidentally crinkle the parchment and placed it gently onto the desk. “These tears are from your words.”</p><p>Hubert’s eyebrows relaxed a little, but he didn’t back down. “Ferdinand, answer the question. Please”. His eyes were silently pleading now. This was an argument of trust, something that Hubert valued above all.</p><p>Ferdinand forced himself to take a deep breath, and spoke slowly to make his point clear. “I swear Hubert, I did not discover this compartment on purpose.” He gestured around the room to where a few tomes hadn’t been picked up yet. "A shelf has broken in the time since you were last here, so I thought I would pick up the tomes that it dropped and place them onto the side before retiring to bed. However,” he gestured towards the desk this time. “When I placed the stack upon the desk, I heard a click and this compartment appeared. When I tried to figure out what to do, I then noticed that the papers inside of the compartment had my name on.”</p><p>He found himself dropping his gaze again. “But the rest, reading the papers, invading your privacy. That was me. I feel ashamed of myself.” He stared at his boots, wishing that the world would swallow him.</p><p>Hubert sighed, and relaxed his posture slightly. The action made Ferdinand look up again. “No, I should be the one to apologise. It’s my fault. That compartment was likely to become faulty after months of misuse, and I should have disposed of those letters a long time ago.” He turned his head away in shame.</p><p>Ferdinand found himself walking forward to place a hand on his husband’s cheek, moving it so that he was facing him again. “Oh Hubert, you have nothing to apologise for. In fact, I am the one who should be begging for forgiveness. I only managed to read a few, but I am disgraced by my obliviousness to your inner turmoil – I should have noticed.”</p><p>A dark laugh interrupted Ferdinand’s protests, silencing him. “No, the fault was my own. The amount of times I told myself I would confess, only to hide away the latest letter with the with the others was laughable. If I had known back then that it was so easy, that all I had to do was ask, then we wouldn’t be in this situation now.”</p><p>A moment passed, before being broken by a sheepish smile from Ferdinand, “It seems we both have things to apologize for and forgive.”</p><p>Hubert responded with a small laugh. “Indeed.”</p><p>He gently pulled Hubert into a kiss. Small, but with so many silent feelings. “Although, perhaps tomorrow would be better.” He spoke once they parted, the air comfortable between them. Hubert’s arms snaked around his waist as he brought Ferdinand closer, his face reflecting a warm smile of his own.</p><p>“Mm, tomorrow it is then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. I adore writing letters as Hubert, I like to get really into his character. Hopefully I did him justice :)</p><p>As always, comments and kudos are accepted with open arms! I make it my priority to reply to each individual. </p><p>Feel free to shout at me on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/Dakota_Cardie/">Here!</a></p><p>Until next time, stay safe!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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